A Short Biography
Born into a family of typical dysfunction, Tyson, the youngest of four boys, learned early on that his wardrobe throughout the 1970s would consist mainly of faded hand-me-down Levis cords and Adidas shorts.
In an ironic twist of nature, puberty in the early 1980s replaced Tyson's soft, manageable head hair with stiff and wiry locks usually reserved for less conspicuous parts of the body. This syndrome caused him great distress until it began falling out at age thirty. After that, he missed it a great deal.
The 1990s found Tyson living in strange and inhospitable lands such as East Vancouver. In between states of intoxication and inebriation, he helped his father pass guilt free to the afterlife, graduated from college, and reached a point where his demons only won every so often.
After several completely insane, though memorable relationships, in 2000 Tyson met Rachael, a beautiful, grounded and confident angel very skilled in the art of woodworking. They have no children, and though no-one says it aloud, it is suspected Tyson's slow swimmers are to blame.
Life is good.
